Category Archives: Tango

When your Tango foundation collapses from under you

I so want to improve – I seek out and work hard with truly great teachers.

But sometimes the floor just drops away – everything you thought you knew is questioned and shown to be weak. Not just one thing – but absolutely everything.

I normally welcome the learning experiences so much – I know that I dance as I do and I so want to be better. I think we are all comfortable with incremental progress.

I absolutely do not want to dance now in the same limited way as I did last month.

But sometimes – like for me right now – it is so hard. I feel I am drowning – fighting for the support of a floor that is no longer there.

Exciting, full of potential – but demoralising and actually physically and mentally painful.

My head is so full I feel that I cannot move. Nothing will flow for a while as my head is shouting thoughts at me – and yet to dance we all need our bodies to be free and not blocked.

Everything I thought I knew is being questioned and I am being given a new instruction set to rebuild it so it will stand up to the hardest of examinations.

I always needed to move forwards – but sometimes when we ask for whole new levels in our dance technique, musical understanding and awareness of ours and our partners bodies – just sometimes it actually happens – and then that floor drops away so far into the deep that we feel we have lost everything – and we cannot breathe.

That is me right now.

Completely breathless.

 

Real Life and Tango

Tango is supportive, open ended and inspiring. It causes us to experience the joy of finding ourselves and simultaneously connecting with others in a safe structure – supported by a complex and wonderful musical world.

That has so much to commend it. It amazes me. Always.

But when people you love in the ‘real world’ treat you like shit and abandon you, in those rare moments when everything in your life just collapses in on itself – we should recognise tango for what  it is – a charade.

It is at all levels just an act.  A series of calls and responses that ripple back through history and reach into your life and heart with so much meaning precisely because of their foundation in a focussed,  intense intersection of music, place and time.

But you were not there.

You were not in those knife fights on the pampa. You were not in those music halls. You were not a lost immigrant calling back to his origins. So for you it is forever separated from your real life. It is a set of gestures – ultimately an incredibly well crafted, open ended artifact.

You are in the here and now – and those people in your life outside of your tango universe are actually alive.

So when real people fuck your life up don’t expect Tango to fix it.

Tango is an act. Real people have blood. They might be clumsy – but they are so alive in a way that tango dancers always divorce themselves from – precisely because we need a safe environment to explore so many things about ourselves, our emotions, the music  and our dance partners.

Don’t get lost in this brilliantly crafted fiction. It is all too easy. The real word is what counts.

#notetoself

You are always there

He is always there – in the shadows of my life.

There –  in the wings – I dance but he has already gone. So quick.

He moves into the lights and across me somehow – a fast and fluid gesture that I just cannot follow – back into the darkness – always at a tangent – wherever I focus he is somewhere else.

He is a dancer.

He can move.

He is seeking something, or someone. Yes – it is someone – it is her.

I am following him. Every day I try so hard. I chase him down.

Again and again and again. He just laughs.

Please – let me catch him. Just once. I want to feel that I can move.

I want to feel that she loves being with me. And not him. Once.

Damn you.

I asked what they thought about my Tango – And they told me..

Determined – as ever – to improve – I asked my teachers and followers that I so respect – and who dance with me a lot – to tell me what they thought. I asked them to give me a score out of 10 – on 11 aspects of my dancing.

Here is what I asked them to score me on – with my highest average score at the top and the lowest at the bottom :

Focus as a student
Supportive and not critical
Focus on the follower
Embrace
Musicality
Creativity
Dance vocabulary
Allowing her time
General pace – not rushing
Posture
Pausing

Before I comment on the new perspective this has given me …

Everyone ranked me 100% on my focus as a student. I was pleased with this not because I am some kind of twit but because I have to trust the data, as much as I can.  I already know I am a ‘good student’ – it is in all of Tango the only thing that I can control. So I focus on this – I hunt great teachers down help them to care about me –  and I try all the time to practise, learn and understand.

If someone had ranked me as weak in this area I actually would have disregarded all of their feedback – as ultimately there is some objective reality that needs to underpin such a hard to quantify space.

So – to what I have learned – as a radar plot of the averages:

Averages

This was exactly what I was looking for – a clear guidance – a strong message – to get better I need to work much harder on one set of closely related aspects:

Allowing her time
General pace – not rushing
Pausing

And then I also – as I know – need to always concentrate on Posture.

What was surprising – and therefore educational – was that I thought was strong in the above 3 areas of giving her time and pacing – clearly I am not – what fantastic information.

But here to me is the amazing thing – the complete variation that each person feels dancing with me!

individuals

This is hard to assess visually – my main take aways are to do with aspects of my dancing that do not fall in the areas most needing of attention according to averages. Specifically :

  • One partner ranked me as the lowest of all her scores in creativity. For everyone else this was a strength – with one 7 and all the rest 8, 9 or 10
  • One teacher gave me the worst scores on musicality – everyone else thought 8,9 or 10. This at a time when I have been studying musicality at an obsessive level, for months on end.
  • 3 people ranked me very low on dance vocabulary – when I thought I knew too many steps and am now always looking to simplify the dance in terms of ‘choreography’ – believing that ‘less is more’

The lesson here is a strong one – each partner is evaluating ‘ME’ in terms of ‘US’. Of course they are – they naturally care about themselves – and their own satisfaction and joy in the dance. For each of them I am a fit only in as much as I enable them to experience the joy they are each looking for.

They all want different things, they all have different backgrounds and desires to explore different parts of themselves through Tango. I either match what they think they are looking for – or I do not.

This is such an important lesson and I will be giving this a lot of thought. Can I be all things to all people? No. But I can learn from this :

  • If I want to work on creativity – and I do – then I should work with the person who feels I am not creative enough – not those who already enjoy my creativity. Now I know who that person is.

Creativity in Tango absolutely can be studied and worked on – and I also have a wonderful teacher for that.

creativity
To have the teacher and now the partner identified is so helpful for this next phase in focussed learning.

  • If I want to learn more and more about musicality turn to the teacher who feels I have more to give in this area.
  • Keep increasing the range of dance vocabulary I have – even if in any one dance I may choose to only use a few. Balance the ‘less is more’ principle with having the appropriate tools well learned and available.

Tango is about two people and the music. I can only make sure my part is the strongest it can be when trying to create something with this person, in this moment, to this music. And this person is an individual who has their own expectations of me as her partner.

I need to find out what they are and to help her  – with all of her complexities and expectations –   to dance in the way she  just loves.

That is my job and if I can do this with sensitivity then my own ultimate goal of being a brilliant social dancer will indeed be tangibly closer.

So old and yet so clear

 

My natural preferences with Tango are to listen slightly later than the purists would have it. I just don’t like the poor fidelity on the early work, and can easily listen to later fuller sounds even if some of the tightness – from a dancing perspective – has gone.

But these early Francisco Canaro and Roberto Maida tracks are just amazing – they sound clear, relevant and totally engage me. This is a Tanda from 1937 – 1938 – for me it’s hard to imagine the technical resources available then…

Invierno – 1937
Condena – 1937
La Cuarenta – 1937
Paciencia – 1938

And the lyrics .. is this old fashioned? ( If you are in a rush Paciencia is 9:05 into the tanda above)

Why pretend?
Patience…
Life is so.

It’s been 78 years since Maida floated out those words in such a challenging way.

And yet here I am.. impatiently believing that life might perhaps not be so.

Pugliese : Pata Ancha

 

So I disappear down another rabbit hole.

Breathlessly pursuing Borges, Pugliese and the Spanish Language through echoing caverns of meaning and history.

I think as native English speaking Tango students – when there is a lyric – we at least stand a chance. We can google, find someone else’s talented work in translation. Learn from it. Add to this over time.

It may be poetic, it may have a lot of Lunfardo – but we can normally get the essence, and maybe that helps us to interpret better.

But when as dancers we are responding to something as dramatic as the more passionate Pugliese instrumentals we can feel lost. There is just nothing individual to hang onto. Yes ‘Pata Ancha’ has the classic Yumba sound from the first moments – that signature marcato that might bring to mind the heartbeat of the city, or the metalworkers in the factory – but we need more.

So google will tell you that Pata Ancha means – ‘wide leg’.

Well that’s good – it doesn’t mean some kind of fish pate then. But what on earth .. Sex? Solidity? Strength? The brutality of ugliness?

No. But of course this is pointing us towards the answer. It is at least a start.

I am in such very severe danger of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing – and I do welcome help from anyone – please – but  Martín Fierro (El Gaucho) is an epic poem by the Argentine writer José Hernández. Published in two parts n the 1870s.

And in this poem is ( the first? Most relevant?) mention of a colloquial meaning of the phrase ‘Pata Ancha’ – “Dealing with anger to any danger”.

Echoes of the meaning of “Mandria’ – ( D’Arienzo ) – not just as worthless – but as the way Gauchos used to knife fight each other – not to the death but until one of them was facially scarred and so was worthless to a woman.

And so it comes back again to the Gaucho roots of Milonga / Tango – of course Gauchos wore wide pants.

They  were passionate, rural and proud – they in many ways defined their lives in harsh terms – wanting to die proud – to respond by putting themselves on the line.

And it is this essence of the early Milonga that as I understand it Borges wanted to get back to. He resented the loss of the guitar, the introduction of romanticism, Lunfardo and even vocals at all. To him the essence was the Pampa, the space, the freedom and a man finding himself.

And at this point I am just going to stop and refer anyone interested to a really worthwhile, fascinating and academic reference ( also attached so hopefully one will work  borges-milonga ) that Borges and Pugliese led me to as I chased them down a rabbit hole, about 4 hours ago. And I am still falling.. and falling.

Enjoy.

 

Lead me but keep the follower’s embrace

So much is said about followers and leaders – but surely what matters is communication so that we can together share the dance and the music to take it in whatever direction we each feel.

A wonderful exercise – that thanks to the inspiration of Joao Alves – I have been including in my tango schedule for a couple of years now – is ‘dancing with no arms’. In his lessons the general approach is normally  consistent – solo exercises with him and the mirror, then dancing with no arms, then drawing the embrace – and then the lesson.

After thinking about this for a while I am starting to extend this now to a structure where we as a couple will dance with no arms, but my partner can communicate to me – with her body – that she is now the leader. And then we can communicate the change back. It is going to be hard work – but so fascinating.

Our goal is that this can be completely natural and seamless – so that at any time in the dance she can take the role that we refer to as leading – and then hand it back.

All with no change of role expressed through an embrace change. That is something else entirely. With no con tricks – just a passing of the setting of the structure of the dance from one to the other, through communication between our bodies, whenever this adds richness to our experience.

We work on this ‘with no arms’ precisely because this way of moving together has already lost the symbolic confirmation of the asymmetrical embrace – and so it is much easier to break down our preconceptions.

lf-class

My next goal – for many months into the future – is that from the natural follower’s  embrace  she should be able to take over, express herself, and then – if she feels it is appropriate to the music –  to lead me simple things like an intent for either one of us to boleo or planeo.

So she takes the lead over not just so that she can express her emotion through what we think of as embellishments – to demand her emotional space – but so that she can also request a specific response from me. And I will be a good enough listener to answer her.

And then jointly agree to change it back.

Our task is in no way for her to learn the detailed role of the figures and complexity of being a leader – but instead to be able to take over the setting of the intent. And to use this to request emotion back from me in more than just those figures that we naturally associate with the role that has to work within – and not disturb – the structure of our dance.

It’s so very, very exciting – I hope so much that it works.

Starting to Hear Tango in 3D

I am feeling like a new world is opening.

For the very first time I am able to listen to different layers of Tango music – simultaneously. It is a very new experience – so much richer, deeper – and full of information. Like white light broken down into it’s components – each ready for me to react to.

The music comes to me as a whole –  pre-packed and launched by the lyricist, composer and all of the individuals in the orchestra to match a creative vision – handed down and perhaps embellished with new variations through the decades.

This entire song is there for me to listen to and react to – but now perhaps I start to have the tools to break it back down to its components – to react as a dancer  in my upper or lower body as best I can.

I have my torso and my legs – and her. They have the melody and the rhythm – and each other. They have the limitations of notes on a page, but a charismatic orchestra leader with a vision – I have my hearing, my understanding and my emotions. And  her.

Then I must move.

And most importantly – as I move of course I invite her to respond based on whatever she hears when she listens to the same music.

I  choose a melody and my torso responds – but perhaps she hears the underlying pattern of the beats – so stays in contact with me but her feet are with the floor and choose to dance to the rhythm.

Upper body, lower body – melody and rhythm. Her and me – us and them. Dissociations ripple around us. The light is broken down and analysed.

It doesn’t come easy – nothing in Tango does – I have to concentrate – but yes – for the first time it is possible. Perhaps. If I really care, if I focus – if I listen and then I actively choose. If I work hard. Maybe I can do this.

If I dance to one, and she takes the other – can we then together reassemble it? Can she clearly communicate with me? Can she lead me through these joint decisions?

Can we by moving together recreate the white light of Tango but illuminated now by dance?

Y así nació este tango – So where is your own road going?

“And so this Tango was born ..”

What a wonderful, complex, genuine piece of music. I love it so much.

So … where did your own Tango passion come from?

What pain led you to this place? What are you looking for?

La noche, el viento y el frío
mis penas me están matando
pero yo voy aguantando
con mi canto en el camino.

Así… se encontró el motivo
y así… nació este tango.

At night, the wind and cold
my sorrows are killing me
but I’m holding on
with my song on the road.

So … the reason was found
… and so this tango was born.

You are on a road, and you have chosen to be accompanied by Tango. It is so important to you, It softens the edges. It helps. It blurs your reality.

We chase them don’t we – these ephemeral moments. But do we really understand what we are doing – what we are walking away from as we dance towards some other dream?

Some things that to others define their lives can absolutely no longer satisfy us.

What is your reason for being on this road? Do you know where it ends for you?

When we dare to put a foot wrong

I am so very lucky – I get the occasional dance with a formula one dancer.

This is only because I pay for their time – they are teachers.

And not just ordinary teachers – but passionate, talented professionals with over 10 years of teaching experience, a truly  intimate knowledge of the tango world, a huge sensitivity to the music and thousands upon thousands of accumulated kilometres on the dance floor.

I am also so very, very fortunate because I get to practise and work with some people who – like me – just love to learn.

And for me the most exciting, memorable joyous things in that learning experience are about the interpretation of the music and taking risks together. I love it when she pauses unexpectedly – when she holds me back just by her presence and her immersion in the music.

I curse myself when I sense it too late – and I rush her. I thought of one response and she felt something else -and I was just too slow – I blew it and now she is going to play safe for a while. Damn it! I just wasn’t good enough. I held her back from the edge. I caged her.

Safe is boring. Correct is not good enough. For both of us.

My focus is on learning, learning, learning so that when she feels something I can react fast enough and run with her. Tango is of course based on walking, but dancing with a woman who expresses the music surely requires a different mental agility and physical speed – like some kind of futuristic martial art where energies and balance points spiral without friction between us.

Where she can hang over the edge and look down that precipice of failure and yet feel totally, totally safe.

fast

I need to be  so fast and so seamless that she honestly feels I was always with her – even though I am in reality breathless – heart racing – feeling so happy to support her as she just flows wherever the music takes her.

Tango is an improvised dance – there are so few rules and whatever rules there are can be broken if you have the technique to stay within them.

It’s our choice – lean out over that edge and look down – or just shuffle about.